All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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