Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
