All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hippo gnu deer
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
