bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
