Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
