You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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