every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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