wat bout pragnant strippers??
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love having hate sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
