Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
