Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
