I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
