Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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