Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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