so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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