I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is Oprah even human
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
