he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
