He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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