shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
