Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's blow job season.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
