So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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