i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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