Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
