my sisters under your porch take her home
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
