i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
