my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Text me some of your sweat
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
