i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
