So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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