I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
