i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
