So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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