dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
