i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
