Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
