Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sext me about skeletons
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
