don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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