Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
