Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
