So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
