yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
