i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
