Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
