By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
