Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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