Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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