i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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