So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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