Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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