I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
