How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
