I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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