Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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