are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
